The Return: Shadow Souls Chapter 24

Dear Diary,Its the night a leave the night of our offset party or rather gala. entirely I dont feel genuinely gala. I miss Stefan too a great deal.Ive been brooding closely categoric, too. How he walked away, so angry at me, non notwithstanding looking approve. He didnt understand how I couldcare forDamon, and yet still love Stefan so much that it felt as if my exposet was breaking.Elena put down in the mouth the pen and stared at her diary dully. The heartbreak manifested itself in actual physical pains in her chest that would have f respectableened her if she hadnt been sure of what it re exclusivelyy was. She deep in thought(p) Stefan so desperately that she could hardly eat, could barely cessation. He was like a part of her headspring that was continuously on fire, like a phantom limb that would never go away.Not flat piece of music in her diary would help tonight. all(prenominal) she could write ab forbidden were painfully tantalizing memories of the good m easure she and Stefan had divvy upd to bushelher. How good it had been when she could just turn her head and k instantly that she would see him what a privilege that had been And now it was gone, and in its place was racking confusion, guilt, and anxiety. What was happening to him, right now, when she no longer had the privilege of turning her head and seeing him? Were theyhurting him?Oh, God, if onlyIf only I had made him lock all the windows to his room at the boardinghouseIf only I had been more(prenominal) suspicious of DamonIf only I had guessed he had something on his mind that last nightIf onlyif onlyIt became a pounding refrain in time to her heart. She make up herself breathing in sobs, her eyes tightly shut, clutching the rhythm to her and clenching her fists.If I keep feeling this way if I let it crush me bounteous Ill be ascend an infinitesimal point in space. Ill be crushed into wind and even that will be better than strikeing him so much.Elena lifted up her h eadand stared down at her head, resting on her diary.She gasped.Once more her first reaction was to figure death. And wherefore, slowly, because she was stupefied by so legion(predicate) tears, she realized that shed done it again.She was out of her body.This time she wasnt even aware of a conscious decision about where to go. She was flying, so fast that she couldnt communicate which way she was going. It was as if she were being pulled, as if she were the tail of a comet that was quick shooting downward.At one point she realized with familiar horror that she was passing through things, and thusly she was veering as if she were the end of the whip in a game of Crack the Whip and then she was catapulted into Stefans cell.She was still sobbing as she landed in the cell, unsure of whether she had solid form or gravity, and uncaring for the moment. The only thing she had time to see was Stefan, very thin but smiling in his eternal sleep and then she was dumped onto him, into him , and still crying as she bounced, as lightly as a feather, and Stefan woke.Oh, loafert you let me sleep for a few minutes in peace? Stefan snapped, and added a couple of Italian words that Elena had never had reason to hear before.Elena had an immediate fit of the Bonnies, sobbing so hard that she couldnt listen to couldnt even hear any comfort that was on offer. They were doing horrible things to him, and they were using her image, Elenas, to do them. It was all too awful. They were conditioning Stefan to scorn her. She dislike herself. Everyone in the whole world hated her Elena Elena, dont cry, loveDully, Elena lifted herself up, getting a picture anatomical view of Stefans chest before she was sobbing again, trying to wipe her nose on Stefans prison uniform, which looked as if it could only be improved by anything she might do to it.She couldnt, of course just as she couldnt feel the arm that was trying to encircle her gently. She hadnt brought her body with her.But she had, somehow, brought her tears, and a cold, cable-wire-tough voice inside herself said, Dont blow out them, idiot Use those tears. If youre going to sob, sob over his side of meat or his hands. And, by the way, everyone hates you.Even insipid hates you, and Matt likes everybody, the tiny cruel, productive voice went on and Elena gave way to a fresh gale of sobbing, ab displacely noting the force out of all(prenominal) teardrop. Each drop turned the white tegument under it pink and the color dissemination in ripples outward, as if Stefan were a pool, and she was resting on him, water on water.Except that her tears were falling so fast that it looked like a rainstorm on Wickery Pond. And that only made her think about the time that Matt had fallen into the pond, trying to rescue a little girl who had fallen through the ice, and how Matt hated her now.Dont, oh dont dont, lovely love, Stefan begged, so sincerely that anyone would have believed he meant it. But how could he? Elen a knew what she must look like, face swollen and blotched by tears no lovely love here And hed have to be mad to want her to stop crying the teardrops were giving him new life wherever they touched his skin and perhaps the storm inside him had done best, because his telepathic voice was strong and sure.Elena, for suck place me oh, God, just give me one moment with her Just a single moment I can bear anything then, even the true death. Just one moment to touch herAnd perhaps God did look down for a moment in pity. Elenas lips were hovering over, quivering over, Stefans, as if she could somehow steal a kiss like this as she used to when he was still asleep. But for just an instant it seemed to Elena that she felt warm flesh under hers and the flick of Stefans lashes against her eyelids as his eyes flew open in surprise.Instantly they both froze, eyes wide open, neither of them foolish enough to move in the slightest. But Elena couldnt help herself, as the flush of warmth from Stef ans lips sent a flush of warmth through her entire body. She melted into the kiss, and, while keeping her body guardedly in the same position, felt her gaze go unfocused and her eyelids close.As her lashes brush against something with substance, the moment swept quietly to an end. Elena had two choices she could shriek and rail telepathically at Il Signore for only giving them what Stefan had commanded for, or she could get together her courage and smile and maybe comfort Stefan.Her better nature won out and when Stefan opened his eyes, she was tip over him, pretending to be resting on her elbows and his chest, and smiling at him as she tried to straighten out her hair.Relieved, Stefan smiled back at her. It was as if he could bear anything, as long as she was unhurt.Now, Damon would have been practical, she beleaguer him. He would have kept me crying, because in the end, his health would be the most important thing. And hed have prayed for She paused and lastly began laughing, which made Stefan smile. I have no idea, Elena said finally. I dont think Damon prays.Probably not, Stefan said. When we were young and tender-hearted the town priest walked with a cane that he seemed to enjoy using on young inattentive boys more than as a source of support.Elena thought of the delicate child chained to the huge and legal boulder of secrets. Was religion one of the things locked away, put behind doors closed one after another in secret there, like a chambered nautilus until near everything he cared about was inside?She didnt ask that of Stefan. Instead, she said, cloggy her voice to the tiniest telepathic whisper, the barest disturbance of neurons in Stefans receptive brain What other practical things can you think of that Damon might have thought of? Things relating to a jailbreak?Wellfor a jailbreak? The first thing I can think of is for you to know your way around the city. I was brought here cover but since they dont have the power to take the curse off vampires and make them human, I still had all my senses. Id say its a city about the size of New York and Los Angeles combined.Big city, Elena noted, taking notes in her head.But fortunately the only bits that would interest us are in the southwestern section. The citys supposed to be command by the Guardians but theyre from the Other Side and the demons and vampires here long ago realized that people were more afraid of them than the Guardians. Its set up now with about twelve to fifteen feudal castles or estates, and each of those estates has control of a considerable amount of land outside the city. They grow their own unique products and transfer them in deals made here. For instance, its the vampires who cultivate Clarion Loess Black Magic.I see, said Elena, who had no idea what he was talking about, except the Black Magic wine. But all we really need to know is how to get to the Shi no Shi your prison.Thats true. Well, the easiest way would be to find the kitsune sector. The Shi no Shi is a cluster of buildings, with the largest one the one without a top, although its curved, and you may not be able to tell from the ground The one that looks like a coliseum? Elena interrupted eagerly. I get a sort of birds-eye view of the city whenever I come here.Well, the thing that looks like a coliseum is a coliseum. Stefan smiled.He really smiled hes feeling well enough to smile, now, Elena rejoiced, but silently.So to get you in and out, we just head from below the coliseum to the gate back to our world, Elena said. But to get you free there are some things we need to collect and those are in all likelihood going to be in different parts of the city. She tried to remember if she had ever described the pair fox key to Stefan or not. It was believably better not to do it if she hadnt already done it. and so Id hire a native guide, Stefan said immediately. I dont really know anything about the city, except what the guards tell me and Im not sure if I wou ld trust them. But the little people the ordinary ones will probably know the things you want to know.Thats a good idea, Elena said. She drew invisible designs with a transparent finger on his chest. I think Damon really plans to do everything he can to help us.I honor him for coming, Stefan said, as if he were thinking things out. Hes keeping his promise, isnt he?Elena nodded. Deep, deep in her consciousness floated the thoughts His word to me that he would take care of you. His word to you that he would take care of me. Damon evermore keeps his word.Stefan, she said, again in the innermost recesses of his mind, where she could share information she hoped in secret, you should have seen him, really. When I did Wings of Redemption and every bad thing that had set him or made him cruel came undone. And when I did Wings of Purification and all the stone covering his mind came away in chunks. I dont think you could imagine how he was. He was so perfect and so new. And later whe n he criedElena could feel inside Stefan three layers of emotion succeed one another almost instantaneously. Disbelief that Damon could cry, despite all that Elena had been telling him. then(prenominal), belief and astonishment as he absorbed her pictures and her memories. And finally, the need to console her as she stared at a Damon forever trapped in penitence. A Damon that would never embody again.He saved you, whispered Elena, but he wouldnt save himself. He wouldnt even bargain with Shinichi and Misao. He just let them take all his memories of that time.Maybe it hurt too much.Yes, said Elena, deliberately lowering her barriers so that Stefan could feel the hurt that the new and perfect creature shed created had felt upon learning that he had attached acts of cruelty and treachery that well, that would make the strongest soul flinch. Stefan? I think he must feel very lonely.Yes, angel. I think youre right.This time Elena thought a good deal longer before venturing, Stefan? Im not sure he understands what its like to be loved. And while he thought out his response, she was on tenterhooks.Then he said very softly, very slowly again, Yes, angel. I think youre right.Oh, she did love him. He always understood. And he was always most brave and gallant and trusting just when she needed him to be.Stefan? Can I stay again tonight?Is it nighttime, lovely love? You can stay unless They come to take me somewhere. All at once Stefan was very solemn, holding her gaze. But if They come youll promise me to leave then, wont you?Elena looked straight into his discolour eyes and said, If thats what you want, Ill promise.Elena? Do youdo you keep your promises or not? Suddenly, he sounded very sleepy, but the right kind of sleepy, not worn out, but someone who has been refreshed and is being lulled into a perfect slumber.I keep them close to me, Elena whispered. But I keep you closer, she thought. If someone came to hurt him, they would find out what a bodiless opponent c ould do. For instance, what if she just reached inside their bodies and managed to make contact for an instant? Long enough to swipe a heart between her pretty white fingers? That would be something.I love you, Elena. Im so cheerfulwe kissedIts not the last time Youll see I swear it She dropped new healing tears down on him.Stefan just smiled gently. And then he was asleep.In the morning Elena woke up in her grand bedroom in Lady Ulmas house, alone. But she had another memory, like a pressed rose, to put away in its own special place inside her.And somewhere, deep in her heart, she knew that these memories might be all she had of Stefan someday. She could imagine that these sweet-scented, fragile mementoes would be something to hold on to and cherish if Stefan never came home.